Ross on Wye Home Page, Wyenot News - The weekly online news magazine for Ross-on-Wye., Herefordshire.
The place for information on Ross-on-Wye and the Wye Valley

The Local On-line Newspaper for Ross-on-Wye with a World Wide Circulation

Issue No. 90 [Back Issues]
5th April 2006

This Week - [New Whitchurch Bell Tower - Spring at Gorsley Goffs - Walking Away From Rehau - Wild Easter Fun - Wendy]
[Hydrogen Monoxide and the L' Oréal Principle - Visitor Figures - Whitchurch Easter Bazaar - Strange but true]
[First Responders - Nature Watch - Whitchurch ITC Suite - Topical Photography - Archive Ross - Heritage - Onion Fayre - Rugby]
[Home Page] [Classified] [What's On?] [A to Z Site Map] [Property]

Hydrogen Monoxide and the L'oréal Principle

I cannot believe that I am having to clarify this but last week's article about hydrogen monoxide was a joke for April 1st. Hydrogen monoxide, also known as dihydrogen monoxide is water (H2O).

I did receive some amusing tongue in cheek email response. Many of these arrived from people like myself, with sparsely populated scalps, informing me that they would be only too pleased to go blonde. There is nothing wrong with having a sparsely populated scalp. God gave some men brains - to others he gave hair! There were some however who took the matter all too seriously. In particular, one couple who are currently in the process of buying a house locally were very worried. I'm sorry but I have to ask. Are you already blonde?

The L' Oréal Principle

Postulated by Professor, Lyubov Oréal, a recently graduated cosmetic biochemist, the L' Oréal Principle was put to the test by the professor herself when she hired a crop dusting aircraft and had the clouds seeded with potassium sulphate (K2SO4) during a thunder storm.

When asked why she had gone ahead with the experiment, rather than await the usual laboratory test results to determine the effect that the resulting hydrogen peroxide might have on local wildlife, she leaned back on the sofa and brushed her recently acquired, brassy blonde hair from her eyes.
'Because I'm worth it,' she replied, in an accent which always makes me wish I had a house brick handy to throw at the television screen.

With a complete disregard for the effect it would have on local wildlife, Prof. Lyubov Oréal went ahead and sorted out her hair.

The following is an absolutely true story.

Last year for 1st April I published a photograph of a yellow swan on Wyenot News. Despite my retraction a week later however, to this day people still arrive in Ross looking for 'General Custard'. Today, Monday 3rd April 2006, I was walking the riverbank photographing kingfishers and other wildlife when a couple, I guess in their late fifties / early sixties, noticed my interest in the wildlife and approached, asking me if I have ever managed to spot the yellow swan.
'There is no yellow swan,' I replied, 'that was my April 1st joke last year.'
'You're kidding me,' said the man. We've spent a whole year looking out for it!'

Remembering the tale of the boy who cried wolf, perhaps at this point I had better point out that the Ross-on-Wye otters and all of the other nature articles are absolutely genuine.

Visitor Figures March 2006

The tourist season is obviously on its way with visits to the 'Accommodation' page of taking off in a big way, as is expected during the month of March. It has returned to being the second most visited page of the site after the home page.

Below I have shown a summary of visitors to the web site for the past twelve months plus a separate summary for the month of March 2005. As can be seen, visits doubled during March 2006 compared to the same month in 2005 and this has been a trend since I first put the web site on line - visitor figures have at least doubled every year so far. March 2006 showed well over half a million hits and over one hundred thousand page views. Over the past twelve months the site has shown 5.38 million 'hits'.

The annual renewal rate by advertisers on has remained at 100% with advertisers reporting significant business as a direct result of their advertising pages. Many have told me that has proved to be not only the most cost effective but by a long way, the most successful form of advertising they have taken.

'Wyenot News' was the third most visited area of the site during the month, followed closely by the A to Z Index, Pubs, Street Map and Shops pages.

On the average day during March, 3,248 pages of the web site were viewed by 1,216 people!

Visitor Statistics Summary for
April 2005 to March 2006

Summary Period: Last 12 Months
Generated 02-Apr-2006 15:18

Summary by Month April 2005 to March 2006
Month Daily Avg Monthly Totals
Hits Files Pages Visits Sites KBytes Visits Pages Files Hits
Mar 2006 18788 14528 3248 1216 16047 9596156 37711 100692 450398 582446
Feb 2006 17666 13701 3061 862 13167 8001155 24150 85728 383645 494670
Jan 2006 16527 13053 2625 833 13130 8522052 25823 81379 404645 512345
Dec 2005 11496 8966 2106 609 9303 5664908 18906 65313 277954 356376
Nov 2005 13735 11058 2600 676 12704 6635494 20285 78005 331768 412053
Oct 2005 13169 10600 2266 664 11072 6299929 20604 70259 328602 408242
Sep 2005 18902 12930 4762 649 10854 6795827 19475 142888 387913 567068
Aug 2005 15956 12610 2353 678 11160 7074243 21039 72948 390923 494654
Jul 2005 12751 10134 1809 571 10459 5349640 17706 56088 314177 395297
Jun 2005 12907 10637 1957 598 10475 5463732 17953 58715 319113 387225
May 2005 13387 11190 2007 604 11137 5638517 18737 62236 346900 415027
Apr 2005 11954 9831 1811 582 9933 4614510 17463 54354 294944 358632
Totals 79,656,164 259,852 928,605 4,230,982 5,384,035

Summary for March 2005
  Hits Files Pages Visits Sites Kbytes Visits Pages Files Hits
Mar 2005 10183 8312 1532 515 8904 3924884 15984 47518 257695 315683

Whitchurch School Easter Bazaar

Children and their parents enjoyed an Easter Bazaar at Whitchurch Primary School on Saturday, 1st April. The photographs below show the egg transporter competition, for which the children had to design a transporter for an egg. The winner was the one who went the furthest. Winner for Class 3 was Joe Fletcher and winner for Class 4 was Ian Fletcher.

The school choir then performed beautifully and a 'Junk Band' made a lot of noise with their original pieces of music, performed on household items such as brooms and dustbin lids. The school's Deputy Head, Beth Stevens, who led the choir and junk band would like to thank 'Handyman' of Monmouth for selling the school 'musical instruments' at a hugely discounted cost.

Ref: DSC_7674

Ref: DSC_7676

Ref: DSC_7685

Ref: DSC_7686

Strange but True

Althuogh I otfen mkae msitkaes mesylf, I thnik that sepllnig is vrey imptroant, othrewsie poelpe canont raed waht you hvae wriettn.

Having evolved over millions of years, the human brain is a remarkable machine and provided you have seen a word written down before and know it, as long as the first and last letters are in the correct place, the brain can sort out the letters in the middle without too much difficulty. They do have to be the correct letters, of course.

tHE sHaPe OF a wOrD is alSo IMpoRTaNt, sO tHIs sENTenCe iS pRoBaBly mOrE DiFfIcUlT tO rEAd tHAn tHE fIRsT.


If you have a local news item or story of local interest which you would like to appear on Wyenot News you are very welcome to submit it by email, telephone or by post.

Please advise as early as possible if you would like me to photograph your local event so that I can put it in my diary. This service is offered strictly on a first come, first served basis as some days, especially during holiday weekends, can get extremely busy.

Contacting Wyenot News:

Email: please click here.

Telephone: 01989 763217

Postal address: Wyenot News, 1, Hillview Road, Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire. HR9 7EY

Although it is fine to submit if you are submitting an event taking place in a pub / shop / restaurant etc., please make sure that your story does have real news value and is not simply an advertisement for your business. It would be unfair to those who support and Wyenot News by advertising to publish blatant advertisements disguised as editorial material.


Important: [Please read these terms and conditions before downloading any photograph]

<<< Previous page <<< | >>> Next page >>>


Many local businesses support by advertising.

If you would like to join these supporters, please email or telephone: 01989 763217.

<<< Previous page <<< | >>> Next page >>>

Editorials by email or to: ',' 1, Hillview Road, Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire, HR9 7EY. Tel: 01989 763217 Home Page
Return to the previous page of Wyenot News.
Go to the next page of Wyenot News.
Advertising on


Photography, video and web design copyright © Alan J. Wood, All rights reserved.